Walking Chaos au
by chlxo
Summary: "He says the mind of a person is busy, messy, ugly, chaotic." a.u.: alternate universe
1. 1

I see him again staring at me.

He always looks at me, whether it's when we pass in the corridors or in the class room. I always pretend not to notice when his brown, dark eyes bore into mine but there's something about the way he is staring at me that bothers me. He looks at me differently – and I don't like it. Maybe look is not the right word…more like watch. He watches me, watches everything I do. And sometimes, I glance in his direction to check if he is watching me and almost all of the time he is. He knows I know he's looking at me. I don't think he cares that I know he watches me; he just wants to watch me. So I let him. Because he is Todd Hewitt, the boy everyone talks about when he exits the classroom, the boy everyone talks about when we hear screaming down the corridors, the boy everyone talks about.

There are always rumours about him. There is a rumour going around saying that he carries a knife in his bag. I'm not surprised if he does.

He is still staring at me.

I walk out of my locker room. He is standing at the doorway. I notice him following me, tracing my movements up the corridor to the form room where my class gets registered. As I walk into the form room, I gaze behind in a way that doesn't look suspicious to see if he is still there. He isn't.


	2. 2

"Todd is looking at you again." My friend Penny says as I sit down at the table with my lunch.

"I know." I sigh looking at him from the corner of my eye. He is sitting alone at a table, his hand clenched into a fist and sure enough his eyes were fixed on me. His brown hair was wavy, messy and dark which contrasted with his pale skin. I tore my eyes away from him, realising my sneaky corner of the eye peek became a full frontal stare.

"He is such a creep, I don't get why he always does that. I mean, he doesn't even talk to you." Penny shivers. "And even if he did, like, talk to you, why would he just stare at you like that I mean that's just crazy and weird and oh my god no."

I shrug. "How do you not feel so weirded out by it?" She says.

I bite into my sandwich. "I do, I just choose not to say anything." I say between mouthfuls.

"You want me to say anything to him? I'll do it, Viola okay?" Penny suggests getting up ready to talk to Todd.

"WHAT NO."

Penny stares at me, half out of her seat half in. Her eyes were wide with confusion and alarm at the volume of my voice.

"I mean no, please. Penny, you know he's dangerous. He might be carrying _a knife_."

We both look at the bag that sat right next to Todd. He knows the rumours about his knife and so he never lets that bag out of his sight. To be honest I don't really want to know what is inside the bag. I don't want anything to do with him.

Penny sat back down in her seat. "Can we move somewhere else for lunch at least?" She asks leaning forwards onto the table so I could hear her. I nod and we both get up, packing our things and moving out of the lunch hall to the benches. I feel his eyes bore into me as I walk past him towards the door.


	3. 3

The bell rang signifying the end of the school day. I quickly gather my belongings, chuck them into my bag and pull the bag onto my shoulders. The locker room after school is an absolute nightmare. Everyone goes there at the end of the day which means that the room is jam packed with students banging locker doors open and people throwing books around and it often ends in bruised heads and lost folders. I push my way through the crowds of angry teenagers eager to get home early on a Friday afternoon and reach my locker. I manage to collect my things and drop off some stuff at my locker and wait inside for Penny to come. This is the usual place Penny and I meet which sounds not so convenient considering how loud and busy it is but it's where we go after school every day so we always end up meeting there. A flash of blonde hair bobs above the crowd and a pair of warm brown eyes widen in recognition when she sees my face.

"Viola! List-"

"Penny, what on earth took you so long?" I question her, throwing my arm over her shoulders.

"No. Viola, listen." Her tone of voice is full of worry and fear which was very unusual for Penny.

"What?"

"It's him. It's him again. He's here and he says he wants to talk to you."

My body freezes. The noise of the locker room fell to silence. Some people have left already but a number are still in the room staring outside at someone. The boy who everyone talks about is waiting outside.

"I said no. I said you didn't want to talk to him but he kept insisting and then I got scared and I said yes I'm so sorry Viola I know I shouldn't have I know it." Penny rushes the words out of my mough and I nod at her.

"No, it's okay. I'm not scared," I lie, "I'll talk to him."

I take a few steps towards him but stop a little under halfway. He knows I know he wants to talk to me. He looks at me. Everyone is quiet. Everyone is watching.

And so the boy everyone always talks about walks towards me. Fear runs through my veins and my breathing quickens. I am stuck staring at him the way he has been staring at me for a long time now. Everyone is watching him. Everyone is thinking about him. And when he leaves, everyone will talk about him.

Todd Hewitt stops right in front of me, and walks away.

Students around me murmur to their friends in confusion, talking about him. Soon the volume increases and everything around me gets louder and louder. Everyone is talking about him. Penny is by my side staring at me.

"Why didn't he say anything? I don't understand." She says.

"I have no idea. Are you sure he wanted to talk to me, maybe he didn-"

"I am very sure." Penny says full of confidence. "He told me "I want to talk to her.""

"And how do you know "her" is referring to me?"

"Everyone knows that when he says "her" it refers to you."


	4. 4

The walk home from school is a nice length. It is not so long that taking the bus is a better option but also it is not so short that I feel like I cannot enjoy it. There is a shorter way back to my house though, but I don't like taking it because it involves an alleyway and it makes the journey much shorter. Too short that I don't have enough time to truly think about things.

I think back to the locker room. His eyes were on mine as if he was searching for something but couldn't find anything. What was there to look for?

Grey clouds circle the skies above me threatening to rain. The wind grew stronger, battling me, pushing me backwards. Then it began to dribble. I stop under a tree and rummage through my belongings searching for my umbrella. The sounds of rain hitting the leaves on the trees grow louder as the rain becomes heavier. Fat drops of rain drip from the leaves and onto my face. I wipe it off furiously. "Dammit." I mutter under my breath, "Left it in the locker room." I turn around and walk back the way I came. It's times like this when I prefer to abandon my nice walks home to go through the alleyway. The reason why I don't like going through the alleyway is because as alleyways goes this one is quite a long one. It is dark, even during the day and very narrow, only narrow enough for one person to comfortably walk in. No one could ever see the exit to the alleyway because near the end of it, it suddenly jerks to the right and only then could anyone see the daylight streaming on the roundabout opposite. The floor is always pitch-black so I could never see where my feet are going. The walls of the alleyway are covered in ivy, holding onto the walls for dear life.

I stand at the mouth of the gaping black hole which is the alleyway. I peer in which is pretty pointless considering how dark it is. If there is anything or anyone inside I would not be able to see it.

I gingerly step inside, minding the ivy surrounding me. I venture forwards. It is much quieter inside. The rain is lighter here which is probably due to branches of huge trees crossing above my head. I pick up the pace. I so badly want to get out of here.

I stop on my tracks and sure enough the faint padding sound I thought I heard stopped too. I hold my breath. Should I turn around? Is it better to ignore it? Or should I face it? Thoughts whirl around me. I knew I shouldn't have come in the alleyway. It was a bad idea at the start, I mean going into an alleyway after school on a Friday in the rain. I turn around, ever so slowly.

A dog jumps out in front of me. I scream out in shock. A little, rough-looking dog barks happily at me wagging its tail energetically. I throw my head back laughing and pick up the little dog.

"You scared me so much!" I stroke it, "Oh am I glad it's just you."

"What?" a confused, masculine voice says in the darkness of the alleyway.

I swallow, realising I had been followed. I stay silent, I can't think of anything else to do apart from holding onto the poor dog and staying there, paralysed by the sound of Todd Hewitt.

"Who's that?" Todd's voice becomes closer. I don't respond.

"I SAID WHO'S THERE?" he demands.

The dog struggles and barks at Todd's voice. Only then does it strike me that this dog is Todd's. I immediately let the dog go and see it plunge into the dark floor and scurry up to his owner.

"Manchee." I hear Todd say in a low voice. "Manchee, who's here?"

My legs carry me forwards towards the end of the alleyway. I hear Todd talking to his dog, Manchee as if the dog could understand. There is no way Todd could have seen me, it is too dark in the alleyway and I don't think he knows me enough to recognise the sound of my voice. I hear Manchee bark back at Todd behind me. I quicken my pace.

"Manchee, are you sure it's Viola?"


	5. 5

It's been a week since I ran into Todd Hewitt in the alleyway. I think back to it. It was strange how he talked to directly to his dog - Manchee - as if the dog could understand every word he said. And the way Manchee barked back at everything Todd said, like he was replying to him was unusual. Todd knew it was me in the alleyway, so why hasn't he said anything about it? I wait outside the canteen where Penny and I now sit. Everyone is eating around us filling the outside lunch benches with laughter and noise. There is a scream from a girl from a younger year as her lunch bag is tossed across the lunch area by the wind. A handful of boys are kicking a football up in attempt to impress the group of girls watching them. It works as the girls lean in to each other and giggles, one hits the other playfully.

A boy walks into the lunch area. The girls stop giggling. The boys drop the football. The girl chasing her lunch bag grabs it and stands where she is. I hold my breath.

Todd Hewitt marches across the lunch area. His hair is messy and hanging across his face, down his dark brown eyes. A hand is clenched around his bag which is hastily heaved onto his shoulder.

"Viola." Is all he says. I look around frantically. A wave of heat reaches my cheeks and my palms begin to clam up. Penny is still in the canteen so it's only me. Me and Todd Hewitt.

"Y-yes." I stutter. His hand grabs my arm and he pulls me across the lunch area. Penny walks out carrying her lunch and her happy-go-lucky face is replaced with confusion and then fear when her eyes reach mine.

"VIOLA?" She calls out behind me and I see her start to run.

"No, it's okay! I'm just going…somewhere, I'll be back soon." I shout back.

Todd drags me out and around the back of the school. His grip on my arm was surprisingly not as hard as I thought it would be. However the most surprising thing is that I am not afraid of him. Before, I was terrified but recently I have been more intrigued by him. He is a puzzle I had to solve.

"Was it you, Viola, I saw last week? In the alleyway?" He gruffly says.

"Yes…" I reply slowly.

He sighs and faces away from me.

"Did you see my dog?"

"Yes…I did."

"Do you want to see him again?"

This threw me off. I take a step back, my eyebrows nearly reaching my forehead. He took me to the back of the school in front of everyone to ask if he wants me to see his dog?

"Erm…" I start.

"OKAY, IT'S CLEAR YOU DON'T WANT TO, YOU COULD AT LEAST BE NICE ABOUT IT." He shouts, still facing away from me. "I knew Ben and Cillian were wrong about this. I knew you would act like this."

"No…no…" I start again.

"Then why are you hesitating? Why are you being like this?" He screams at me, only glancing over his shoulder to see my face.

"I…I would love to see Manchee."

He froze.

"How…how do you know his name is Manchee?"

"I heard you." I admit.

"What else did you hear?"

"Nothing…much" I whisper the ending.

He turns his body and looks at me hard. I swallow.

"Tonight, at 9pm, meet me at the front of the alleyway, by the roundabout."

And he walks away.


	6. 6

The clocks shortest hand finally reached the 9 on the clock face. I shrug my coat tighter around my body and gaze forward at the roundabout. It is normally so busy during the day, always being surrounded by cars swerving around the white arrows. But tonight it's lonely and quiet. The light autumn breeze flutters gently across my face and I let out a small sigh. I watch my breath freeze white in the air and slowly fade away above me.

"Viola." He says behind me.

"Todd." I reply back.

Manchee jumps onto me, grabbing my jeans with his little paws. He barks wildly, thrilled to be seeing me.

"Awh, hey buddy." I bend down stroking his little face. His black, shiny eyes stare into mine.

"Okay, okay, down Manchee."

Manchee continues to jump around me, howling.

"Manchee, I said down."

Manchee reaches up to me again; seemingly oblivious to what Todd is commanding him.

"MANCHEE, YOU STUPID DOG I SAID GET DOWN." He screams, so loud my heart stops.

Todd punches his arm out.

He grabs Manchee's collar.

Manchee screeches'.

I scream out.

Todd throws him to the ground.

I tear my eyes away as I hear a thud.

And a thump followed by a little cry.

And silence.

I hear Todd's breath quickening.

I hear Manchee's sniffs as he gets up.

I feel my pulse everywhere on my body.

"TODD." I yell out, tears streaming down my face.

His face snaps towards me. His neck is bumpy with veins and I see his fists clenched hard like rocks. His eyes are wide with anger, frustration and behind everything, guilt. His lips are clamped together in a thin defined line. I remember he is dangerous. I remember to the times I would hear his screams down the corridors. I remember what is rumoured to be in his bag. I remember how to feel fear.

"WHY, TODD?" I shriek.

I wipe my tears away furiously. I take a step closer to Manchee who shuffles away from me and Todd. The poor dog is so afraid to go near me, to go near anyone.

"WHY WHAT?" He screams out, shaking his arms viciously.

"THIS IS YOUR DOG. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU HURT HIM, LOOK AT HIM. You hurt him."

Todd turns and looks at his dog for the first time this evening. He looks at him hard.

"I hate him. I never wanted a dog."

Manchee whimpers, as if he understands what Todd is saying. My heart feels heavy in my chest.

"Well, you know what? You got a dog, and you're damn lucky for it. Look after Manchee, and if you don't give him away. That dog is too good for you anyway."

I sharply walk down the alleyway angrily. I'm so angry for coming here at night for him, so angry at Todd for treating Manchee badly, so angry at myself.

"VIOLA, WAIT." He screams out. "VIOLA, PLEASE." I hear footsteps thumping behind me.

"PLEASE, COME BACK. I'M SORRY. I'LL LOOK AFTER HIM. I PROMISE, YOU HEAR ME?"

I break out into a run, and the footsteps behind follow.

"I SAID, YOU HEAR ME?"

My body is tossed towards his, and I feel his grip on my arms.

"GET AWAY FROM ME." I scream out, hitting at his arms, lashing at his face.

"No, no Viola. I said did you hear me?"

"GET AWAY."

"VIOLA, LISTEN."

"GET AWAY, DON'T HURT ME." I thrash around in his arms.

His grip loosens.

"What did you say?"

"I SAID GET AWAY FROM ME. DON'T HURT ME." I scream back.

He lets go. And I turn away and run.

I run away from the sad boy with the bruised dog.


	7. 7

The sun rays stream into my room introducing a new day. It's finally the weekend and so I am going to meet Penny in the park today. I roll of my bed and start my daily morning routine. I splash cool water over my face, eat breakfast and then return upstairs to brush my teeth clean. I yell at my parents, warning them that I am about to leave and then set off towards the park.

Penny and I always go to the park on Saturday mornings. It's been "our thing" ever since I could remember. We started it when we were young and it has continued on even now at high school. It's a place where we go to take a nice walk around, breath in fresh air and just enjoy each other's company. There has rarely been a time when we had to cancel our weekly morning walks.

My eyes dance around the small pond populated with swans and geese. The water shimmers and reflects the autumn sun making it look so clean and pristine. In reality, the pond is full of murky green water but there's something about the early morning which makes everything look innocent and new. I find the bench we meet at and sit down, observing the swans circling the circumference of the pond.

"Hey, Viola!" Penny smiles, pulling her hat over her face.

"Hey, Pen." I smile back, tapping the space next to me on the bench.

"Oh my god it's freezing. It's only a matter of time before my fingers turn blue and drop off." She bursts out.

"Come on, it's not even that cold."

"Are you kidding me? Look, I can see my breath." She then exhales letting out a cloud of white condensation. "See? You see that? Cold."

"Okay, fine but it's not as cold as you make it ou-"

"It's freeezziinngggg." She moans. "So cold so cold so cold." She chants. Her mouth begins to chatter. "I'm gonna go out for a mini run to warm up. Stay here." She commands and with that she's off.

I watch her from afar, laughing as she flings her scarf around her shoulder every time it slips. The little pompom on her bobble hat wiggles with every thumping step she takes. She shoots me a thumbs-up and jogs around a corner so overgrown with plants she disappears from me the moment she turns. I laugh again.

"You look ridiculous!" I shout out behind her. I hear her bubbly laugh fade away. Sighing, I haul my feet up onto the bench and lie there. It seems like I would be here for a little while and I might as well make myself comfortable. The sky is a clear blue, which explains why it is quite chilly however not as cold as Penny makes it out to be.

"HEY VIOLA, LOOK WHO I FOUND!"

"What?" I sit up.

Penny returns from around the corner she disappeared into minutes ago.

"Isn't it cute?" She says, burying her head into the dog.

"Penny, drop the dog." I command staring at the familiar brown, ruffled dog.

"What? He was all alone and cold and so cute." She giggles as the dog licks her face.

"No, Penny, that dog is _Todd's dog_."

She looks at me in the eye, half smiling. "Haha, funny. The scary, dangerous Todd Hewitt, who is rumoured to carry a knife around, who rarely attends class, who even the teachers fear…owns a small, cute dog."

"I'm being serious." I take the dog out of Penny's arms.

"Hey, no fair." She whines.

Manchee turns his head towards me and instantly barks. He wiggles and starts to lick my face repeatedly.

"The dog never did that to me!" Penny says. "It likes you way more."

"Hey, shh, stop barking." I coax him. But Manchee starts howling in excitement and I accidently drop him. He is a bundle of energy I couldn't control.

"Manchee?" I hear Todd call. Penny flicks her eyes towards me. Her eyes were so wide and white.

"He's here." She whispers loudly. "What do we do?"

"I don't know!" I whisper back frantically waving my arms around. Manchee runs over to the voice around the corner.

"The dogs gone to him!"

"I know that, I saw."

"Run."

And with that she disappears from my side and sprints down the path, one hand holding her bobble hat and the other flicking her scarf over her shoulder. She turns around after a few metres down the path.

"What are you doing? Run!" She mouths to me, making frantic hand gestures. I start jogging but stop as I hear Todd's voice. It's so quiet so I have to venture close to the voice on the overgrown corner. I gesture to Penny to run ahead, she does after shooting me a confused face.

"Viola's here?"

BARK!

"Should I talk to her?"

BARK!

"You stupid dog."

BARK!

"Go check."

Manchee's head peeks around the corner. He jumps at the sight of me standing there and I mirror him, jumping up too in surprise. A gasp escaped my lips. I slap my lips shut with my mouth. Todd appears around the corner.

"Todd." I say so quietly I don't think anyone hears it apart from me.

"Viola." He says.

A silence fills the air.

"Viola. I'm sorry about yesterday." He finally says.

I stare at the ground.

"I'm sorry for kicking Manchee. And I'm sorry for shouting, and scaring you."

I look down at the ground.

"Viola, do you want to take a walk with Manchee?" He looks into my eyes, searching them. His eyes are a dark brown, but not a warm brown as anyone would expect. They are dark, mysterious and have something hidden behind them. Something I fear. And again, I feel the fear I usually have when I am around him. I gave him a chance yesterday and I shouldn't give him a chance today. But it's the fear that takes control, and gives him what he wants.

"Yes." I reply, instantly hating myself for it. He sees it.

"Okay." He walks ahead. I walk behind. Manchee happily yaps ahead.

There were moments in the walk when Todd would lose his temper. I saw it when Manchee barked continuously at nothing in particular, or when he sprinted ahead not knowing where he was going and Todd had to run behind and catch the dog. There were times in the walk when we did actually talk, and when we did it unlocked a little about the mysterious Todd Hewitt. He told me about how Cillian and Ben became his parents. He told me a bit about why he hates school and the people inside the building. He even told me something incredible. Something strange and something unsettling. He said that he sees and hears the thoughts of everyone. He hears what they're thinking, sees what they are saying. He says the mind of a person is busy, messy, ugly, chaotic. He then stopped, probably thinking he said too much. Which I think he did.


	8. 8

"See you after half term." The teacher raises her voice over the uproar of teenagers rampaging out of the class room and down the corridor eager to leave school. I dodge through the obstacles and reach the locker room where Penny is waiting for me. She runs up to me and hugs me tight.

"I'm not gonna see you for an entire week!" She pretends to wail into my shoulder.

"You're leaving me in England while you go on holiday to America." I punch her playfully, "I hate you. We were supposed to have half term together, you doughnut."

"Let me see, a holiday with Viola…or in America?" She pouts, gazing up as if she is in deep thought. She then bursts out laughing shaking her head. "Nah, I'm kidding. If I could I would spend it with you in America."

She hugs me again and runs out. She has a plane to catch later.

"I'll get you something cool there!" She shouts as she runs out.

"You better!"

It's Saturday again. Should I go to the park? I know Penny won't be there - she must be in America now - but Todd might. Ever since the conversation at the park he has been avoiding me. I can understand why. I can't get what he said to me out of my head. I am curious to know what "Noise" is and why he thinks he can hear and see people's thoughts…

I know he walks Manchee there in the mornings. I could find him there.

I get up, eat, dress myself and leave the house, closing the door silently so not to wake my parents. I enter the park and look around the quiet and still environment. I run around the park, circling it, searching for Todd and Manchee. I see them nowhere. Huffing, I stop by the pond gazing at my reflection. My face ripples in the cold water. So they aren't by the pond, or the fields, or the kids playground…I look up at the more wild side of the park. A huge wood takes up at least a good third of the park. The wood is very large and dark. I could see the brown old trees standing clustered together and as my eyes search more into the woods I could see nothing but darkness.

I'm not scared of the woods, though I was as a child. I'm more scared of getting lost inside it. I've heard stories about children going into the woods at night and never leaving. Of course, they were only stupid stories that go around the school but looking at the wood right now I could tell there was something sinister about it.

My ears perk up at the sound of Manchee. I race towards the sound of his barks...which are coming from the wood. I sprint across the field straining to hear Manchee's calls. Twigs crush under my feet and my short brown hair gets caught on the grabbing branches as I push amongst the trees. The barking becomes louder. And I hear shouting too, screaming and wailing. Should I be here?

The wailing is loud, desperate and full of pain. So full of pain I can…almost see it? Words bleeding out between the trees, moving, distorting, too big to see what they are saying… I squeeze my eyes shut and rub them. I am most definitely seeing things. I open my eyes and the floating words are gone but the cries and the barking are still present. I step closer towards the noise, closer, and even closer.

I think I must be roughly at the centre of the wood. I turn around and look for the exit but all I could see are the trees circling me. I get to a small clearing and that's when I see Todd.

My breath catches in my throat.

Todd is crawled in a small tight ball in the middle of the clearing. His face is scrunched up tight and his eyes pushed shut but it mustn't be that closed because tears are streaming down his face. He is sobbing so violently his whole body trembles with every quivering breath he takes.

Manchee is sitting near him, howling. Fear clouds Manchee's eyes as he watches his owner break and crumple in front of him.

"NO I'M NOT." Todd screams. I jump at the loudness of his voice.

Manchee barks back angrily.

Todd doesn't seem to notice him.

"STOP IT. GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT."

He hits his head with his hands and doesn't stop. He keeps hitting himself, bashing his head onto his tightly curled fists.

A small wail escapes my lips. I can't watch him do this.

"TODD." I scream, running to him.

He doesn't hear.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD. I SAID, GET OUT, YOU HEAR? GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN HEAD." He bashes his head even harder. Red blood bursts out of his knuckles and trail down his pale arms.

Manchee sees me and runs around me barking desperately. I collapse onto my knees beside Todd.

"TODD." I scream. "TODD, PLEASE STOP, PLEASE." My sobs grow stronger with every scream he makes. Tears streams down my face. The world blurs underwater in my vision.

"TODD." I scream into his ear.

"GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY."

"TODD. LISTEN TO ME, STOP HURTING YOURSELF, YOU'RE BLEEDI-"

"GO AWAY, GO AWAY."

Manchee is barking hysterically at us. Todd is screaming and shouting and I'm screaming back. The world seems to be spinning. The ground is vibrating with the all the noise. There's so much noise. There's too much noise. It's chaos. Todd begins again, slamming his fists into his head. Everything is so loud I cannot even hear the sound of my own voice. Words seem to be flooding out of his head, ugly, black jagged words. Words chanting **YER NOTHING **over and over and over and over-

"I'M NOTHING I'M NOTHING I'M NOTHING I'M NOTHING."

Everything slows down.

"I'M NOTHING I'M NOTHING I'M NOTHING I'M NOTHING."

The words stop.

"I'm nothing…I'm nothing…" Todd gasps, he cries one last time.

We sit there silently. The noise dims down to nothing.

"…I'm nothing…I'm nothing…I'm nothing…"


	9. 9

He mumbles on.

"…I'm nothing." He finally says, whispering it. He is still curled in a ball. His face is pressed against his legs and his eyes are still slammed shut from the rest of the world. My arm is wrapped around him and I don't know how it got there. I slowly drop my arm away from him. That's when he acknowledges my presence.

He shoots his head up towards me, his eyes wide with shock. His dark, brown eyes were nearly black and the white of his eyes were streaked with red. He quickly shuffles away and turns his body away from me.

"Todd, I-" I begin, reaching out to him.

"Why were you here?" He growls.

"Todd…" I repeat again. I don't know what to say.

"WHY WERE YOU HERE?" He roars louder.

"I…I came to find you."

"LEAVE."

"But I came for yo-"

"I SAID LEAVE."

His voice is jagged from screaming. He points out randomly, expecting me to follow his finger.

"What was that Todd?" I stepped closer to him. "What was that?" I repeat again. My voice breaks the second time I ask him.

His eyes water again. He breathes in, and breathes out again.

"Please leave."

"I don't want to. I want to help whatever that was, ple-"

"No, I want you to leave. I will come back later for you."

"What?"

"Just leave."

"I don-"

"GODDAMN IT VIOLA, I SAID I WILL FIND YOU. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? YOU CAME HERE TO SEE MY NOISE DIDN'T YA? YOU CAME HERE TO SEE ME LIKE THIS AND NOW YOU HAVE. I WANT YOU TO GO." The tears come back again.

"Okay." I whimper. "I'll go."

He inhales, as if to say something. I wince, preparing myself for more shouting. There is a short silence.

"Thank you." He mumbles as I turn my back to him.

I run forward, not knowing where I am at all. I was planning on asking where how to exit the wood but I was too scared. I don't care anymore. I'll just keep running forwards and away from Todd.

Fresh, green grass slowly fills my vision as I stumble out of the wood. I look around slightly confused. I came out a different way to the way I came in. My eyes search around for the pond. It's on the far side of the park. I hear loud clapping from behind me. I whip my body around towards the applause.

A blonde boy is lazily slumped onto a tree surrounded by other teenagers. They are around sixteen, seventeen – so the same age as me. They are all looking at me.

"And she survives!" The blonde boy cries out. Everyone else yells out happily in response. I plaster a smile on my face and walk towards them.

"What do you want?" I ask him when we are close enough.

"Nothing, nothing at all." He holds his arms up, shrugging. "Just wandering why a beautiful girl like you would be running into dangerous woods."

Despite everything I saw in the woods, I blush.

He notices.

"What's your name?" He asks kindly.

"Viola Eade."

"I'm Lee." He says holding out his hand.

I politely take it.


	10. 10

"So what were you doing there in the woods?" Lee says sitting down on the grass. The other teenagers sit behind him and start a conversation of their own.

"Nothing." I say too quickly as I sit on the grass he pats beside him.

Lee narrows his eyes at me. I gulp. After a small while his mouth twitches up to a small smile as if forgiving my small lie.

"It's Halloween this weekend." He states.

"And so it is." I reply back.

"You doing anything?" He glances up to my eyes casually.

"Yeah, sure but not a lot." I lie again. I don't have anyone to spend Halloween with so I'm actually doing nothing. But of course, I don't want to tell Lee this. I don't want to impress him, but I don't want him to think I have no social life.

"Well I'm having a party this weekend, Halloween themed of course." He adds in a "duh" expression. "My parents are out so this one is gonna be a wild one. You should come along."

"Erm…I'm not quite sure about…" I hesitate trying to come up with various excuses. I've only known the boy for ten minutes, how can I politely tell this stranger that I don't want to go?

"What are you not sure about? It's gonna be the biggest party of the year, everyone's gonna be talking about it."

"I don't…I'm not sure about it. I don't even know you that well and-"

"You must recognise me!"

"What?" I question.

He pulls a silly pose face. "You don't recognise me?"

"No…" I say slowly, examining his face. I stare at it for a moment too long, making things a little awkward between us.

"I go to your school." He huffs sadly.

"Oh…oh yeah!" I lie back enthusiastically. He grins back in return. To be honest I've never noticed him at school but then again I don't know a lot of people there. I'm not very sociable.

"Yeah, I'm in none of your classes but I'm in your year and I've seen you around and…" he trails off.

We sit again in silence.

"I guess…seeing as you're not a total stranger then…I _might_ come." I say, with a questioning tone.

"Really? I mean, yeah that's cool." He smiles.

"But it's a might, I can't promise anything."

"Sure, sure. Could I have your number? You know, like, so you can tell me if you're coming or not. And like, I could text you my address and stuff." He asks shyly.

We exchange numbers quickly.

"I should probably get going now." I point backwards towards the exit to the park.

"Oh, sure. I'll see you hopefully this weekend." He blushes slightly.

"Yeah, bye!"

"See you later Viola."

I walk forwards away from Lee and the group of other teenagers. I hear a small cheer as I leave. I turn around to see a boy hook his arm around Lee's neck happily. Lee is blushing and pushing everyone off. He catches me looking and waves. I wave back.


	11. 11

THUMP!

I jolt awake.

THUMP!

My clock reads out 2:37am.

THUMP!

I slip out of bed and walk towards the window. I push apart the dark purple curtains and gaze out the window that overlooks the all so very attractive main road. I shriek out as a large stone is hurled onto my window.

THUMP!

Todd is staring up at me from under my window.

I run downstairs instantly and open the door. Todd is standing by the door waiting for me.

"Are you crazy? Do you want to smash in my windows?" I whisper loudly and furiously.

"I wanted to get your atten-"

I cover his mouth with my hand.

"Shhh, my parents are upstairs sleeping." I hiss.

"I wanted to get your attention." He whispers.

"Well you got it all right." I stifle a yawn.

"Come outside, I want to talk to you."

"Can't this wait till tomorrow?"

"No, I want you to come with me now." Todd says so sternly I blink wide awake.

"Okay, okay. Let me get my shoes." I say, not thinking properly.

I pull the nearest pair onto my feet, grab the keys by the door and stumble outside. Todd slowly and silently shuts the door.

"Follow me." Todd says. He walks a few steps forward and turns back making sure I follow him. After a few meters I run by his side. We walk together in silence.

The world is so different when it is sleeping. The sky is an inky black colour, cloudy or cloudless I cannot tell. The moon is a thin sliver of white light. It looks so different to the bright, baby blue skies and white clouds. The roads and houses are in darkness. The usually busy roads are silent and empty. Orange streaks of light are emitted from the streetlights guiding us to wherever Todd is leading. I'm grateful that Todd has woken me up at such a strange time of night. I didn't know how beautiful the quiet, sleeping world is. We miss so much when we are asleep. At night, the streets are ours. There's no one else to share it with. In this moment, I feel like Todd and I are the only humans in this world.

I stare at Todd. We walk under a street light. His face glows an orange colour, the light soaking in his skin making him look radiant and bright. His face then plunges into darkness as we pass the streetlamp. Shadows dance on his face and his eyes are jet black, staring ahead. Again, we walk past another streetlamp and colour creeps back onto his face. He tenses his arm a little. I look forward blushing madly. I feel the heat on my cheeks. He must have caught me staring at him. Thank goodness it's dark, he can't see me blush.

I make myself stare forwards; turning where Todd turns and crossing roads Todd crosses. It passes my mind that I'm walking around town with a boy I've only began talking to for a few weeks at a ridiculous time in the morning. Not very long ago, this would have been my worst nightmare. I was so scared of Todd Hewitt. He was dangerous. But after talking to him I've seen something different in him. And after yesterday, I know there's something different in him. But he's still dangerous.

I feel him looking at me. I glance back at him and his eyes quickly fire away from me. He turns his head as if he is embarrassed.

"So…" I say quietly. "Where are we going?"

"The wood." He replies coolly.

"What?"

"The wood." He repeats.

I stop where I am.

"What are you doing?" Todd sighs, turning towards me.

"Exactly! What am I doing? It's two in the morning and I'm prancing around town with you, Todd. I don't even know you that well. I don't know if I trust you. I don't know what I saw in the wood yesterday, and now you want me to go back there?"

Todd winces a little.

"I just…I don't know if I should be doing this. I don't want my parents to wake up and find out I'm gone."

"You…you don't trust me?" Todd says quietly.

"No…I don't know I-"

"I wasn't sure if you liked me or if we were friends but I thought at least you trusted me." He says, staring at the moon as if he is trying to avoid my gaze.

I open my mouth to speak but Todd beats me to it.

"You can go. I'll walk you back. It was stupid waking you up so early, I'm sorry."

He turns around and starts walking back the way we came. As he walks I watch him. Do I trust him? As I think about it, I realise I do. I do trust him. I trust Todd Hewitt. I shouldn't, I'm mad at myself for trusting him but I do. Why would I have agreed to follow him in the first place if I didn't?

"Todd." I call back. "I'll follow you."

"No, it's okay Viola, I know its stup-"

"No, Todd. I want to hear what you want to tell me. I'll follow you. I trust you."


	12. 12

I walk up to the park gate and pull open the gate. The gate rattles, the chains clinking against the metal of the gate but it doesn't move.

"The park is shut at night." He says from behind me. He walks ahead. I catch him smiling, probably at my stupidity.

We walk on the outside of the fence until we come to a tree growing beside it. Todd jumps up and grabs a low branch. He hauls himself up and sits down on it.

"Come up this way." He commands.

I jump up, reaching out towards the branch but miss it by a long shot. I try again.

"It's way too high." I moan, jumping a few more times.

Todd looks down at me and smiles a bit.

"You're so short." He comments.

"No, you're just tall." My fingers brush the bottom of the branch.

Todd lies down on the tree and holds his hand out towards me.

I look up at him.

"Hold my hand, I'll pull you up."

"I don't need your help." I jump up aiming for the branch but Todd catches my hand and pulls me up. I stumble clumsily onto the tree and grab the trunk.

He lets go of my hand and turns around to walk along the branch. I feel the warmth from his hand on my fingers. He leaps in the air and jumps off the branch, over the fence and lands on perfectly on the ground. He probably had a lot of practise of this.

I follow his lead. I walk to the end of the branch, mentally count to three and leap off. I land with a thump on the ground. Todd lets out a small giggle.

"I didn't know you can giggle." I joke to take away the embarrassment of my fall. I get up, brushing the grass of my top.

"I don't." Todd says seriously.

I imitate his little giggle. Todd smiles at me and this time it's a real smile. Not his half smiles or mean smiles, but a real, genuine smile. His normal smiles are just upturns of his lips but this smile reaches his eyes. His mouth is wide and big, his eyes are filled with a small happiness I've never seen before. He looks so different, so happy, so real and so beautiful. I feel a heavy pull in my chest. I've never seen him happy before. I don't want his happiness to end.

"Oh you giggle all right." I punch him lightly on his arm.

"No! It was a manly laugh." He replies back smiling.

"Whatever you say, Hewitt."

"I was manly laughing at you falling off the tree!"

"I didn't fall off the tree! I jumped off of it and I just landed on my back, you see."

Todd lets out his laugh. It fills me with a warmth that makes my stomach go wild with butterflies and my head to spin.

"Whatever you say, Eade."

Everything is dark. The park is empty and silent. The wood at the back of the park is a black, wiry silhouette. The swans and geese that normally circle around the pond are nowhere to be seen. The pond water is black. There is a watery reflection of the moon in the centre.

We stumble through the dark field, the moon guiding us to the wood.

"I can't believe your foot got stuck in that hole." I burst out laughing.

"Hey that's not funny." Todd says, laughing back. "I can still feel the soil inside my shoe."

We both madly laugh at this. We are too noisy in this too quiet park.

"You can still feel the soil in your shoe!" I repeat, gasping for air after each word.

We both cracked up.

"Next time it will be you."

"Err…I don't think so."

"I think so."

"How do you think so?"

Todd pushes me forward. I trip forwards but I don't fall. I giggle at his attempt to trip me and push him back. He stumbles backwards and falls again. His face is shocked, not expecting me to catch myself and push him back.

"Viola!" he screeches playfully.

"Okay, I'm sorry." I say.

He pulls himself up.

"Okay, no more falling."

"No more." I say.

As I say this, I stumble on a small lump of soil. Todd's hand grabs mine, pulling me upright. We have a long way to go till we reach the wood. We carry on walking. Todd is still holding my hand firmly, not letting go.


	13. 13

We enter the clearing in the centre of the wood. The black trees loom around me, tall and intimidating. Todd sits in the middle of the clearing, just under the sliver of the white-yellow moon. He looks back at me, his eyes telling me to join him on the ground. I follow his eyes and sit opposite him, cross legged and curious. The jokes and smiles made on the way are washed away from Todd's face. He stares at the floor intently. I watch him. He swallows. His eyes flick up to mine and back to the ground.

"Todd…what happened when I last saw you here?"

His eyes look black at night. They close and gaze back at the ground. There is a slight pause, then a sudden intake of breath from Todd.

"Noise." Todd says.

"You told me about Noise." I say slowly, steadily, "You say you hear thoughts, and see thoughts…"

"You don't believe me." Todd says harshly.

Another pause.

"I don't believe you…but I don't think you're lying to me."

"That doesn't make sense."

I look straight into his eyes, and I hold out my hand to his chin and tilt his head up so his eyes are also looking into mine. I let my hand drop back to my lap.

"Now tell me. Tell me again."

"It's the Noise again. I see and hear men's thoughts…it just…it just gets too much. A man's thoughts are so ugly and so selfish. I can't sleep because it's all I hear, I can't concentrate because it's all I see, I can't do anything."

Tears line the bottom edges of his dark eyes.

"And sometimes, I just need to go somewhere quiet, where no one goes, where there's less noise and just let it all go."

"And that's what I saw." I say quietly to myself.

Todd nods.

"I…I thought I saw words." I say again after another pause.

"W-What did you see?" Todd stutters.

"Words, they said 'Yer Nothing'."

Todd's eyes brim with more tears, threatening to pour down his cheeks.

"You saw my Noise."

"What does that mean?" I say quickly.

"It just means you saw my Noise." He shrugs, pretending he isn't upset. He looks away as a tear trails down his face and wipes it away.

"That can't be someone's thoughts. Who's thought is it Todd? Why do you hear that? It can't be mine, I would never think anyone's a coward."

"No, it can't be you. You're a girl. I only hear men's thoughts. And animals thoughts too."

"What?" I exclaim.

"Yeah, I can hear Manchee's thoughts. He's such a stupid dog, the things he thinks about." He laughs through his tears.

"Sometimes I hear someone else's thoughts, like the yer nothing voice. And sometimes when I get too excited or angry or something I lose control over my Noise and it shows." He continues.

"Will you show me?"

Todd becomes nervous, and his whole body tenses. "I…I don't know. It's my thoughts, you see, and I can't control what you see and what you don't and I've never shown my Noise. But maybe. Maybe one day." He looks away from me.

I nod, but he doesn't see.

"Is it always noisy? Do you ever get a break from everyone's – I mean, men and animals thoughts?" I ask.

"Going to places with less animals and men makes the Noise much quieter. At night it's better because when they are asleep their thoughts slow down. But also you help-"

I look sharply at Todd's face. Todd's eyes widen as he realises what he accidently slipped out.

"Me?" I splutter.

"I…no? You? What I didn't…" he attempts to backtrack.

"How do I help with your Noise?" I furrow my eyebrows together trying to make sense of what Todd is saying. He sees men and animals noise. He sometimes hears another voice but he doesn't know whose it is. He can reveal his Noise when he wants to, or when he experiences strong emotions it accidently shows.

And I can help stop him from hearing and seeing this Noise?

"I…I…" Todd stutters, thinking up of something to say. "I'll tell you another time."

"No, Todd. You took me to the middle of the woods in the early hours of the morning to tell me something, you can't just tell me half the story."

"Okay," Todd gives in. "I don't know why, I really don't know, but whenever you're close to me you help quieten everything. It's like…it's like you stop the Noise. Everything is peaceful when I'm with you."


	14. 14

"It's like…it's like you stop the Noise. Everything is peaceful when I'm with you." I stutter out loud.

Viola stares back at me, her mouth moving but no works coming out. Her eyes are dark with the thoughts whirling around in her mind. In times like this I wish she had Noise so I knew exactly what she was thinking, exactly what she was feeling. But she is silent. And I am silent. And the woods are silent.

"Please, say something." I finally break the long pause.

"What…what is there to say?" She says slowly, steadily. She concentrates on my face, analysing my expression.

"I…don't know. Anything. Tell me I'm stupid. Tell me that it's dumb that in a world full of noise and chaos there is one person that just takes away everything."

"Why is it like this? Why me?" Her eyes shimmer with tears.

"I don't know." I lie to her.

"Maybe you think it's me that makes you stop seeing Noise but it could be something else. I'm not doing anything."

Her voice catches in her throat. The wind blows across her hair and strands brush against her face. They get caught on the side of her face. She hastily brushes the hairs away back behind her ear. The hairs fall past from her ear again. Her lips are chapped and her eyes are tired. Her skin is pale in the dark and her nose is red with the cold. I just want to pull her in close, and brush her hair behind her ear and-

"I'll walk you home." I say.

She nods a small nod.

We stride back home in silence but with our minds busy with unspoken words.


	15. 15

_Todd_

I walk back home in the silence of the early hours of the morning. The darkness is comforting around me, acting as a layer of protection from me and the rest of the world. I near my house. It stands by the edge of town, a few streets away from Viola's house. Cillian and Ben, my parents, are sleeping; the gentle murmurs of their Noise promising this. I slip inside the house and back into my bed.

_I am running in the woods alone. All alone. Completely alone. Even Manchee isn't there, where's my dog? Where the hell are you Manchee? _

_I race between the old and wrinkled trees and keep running. I don't know why I'm running. Who am I running from? I try to turn my head around…but my neck is tight and won't turn. Why won't my goddamn head turn? _

"_WHO'S THERE?" I scream out…or at least try to. I force the words out of my mouth but they come out as an inaudible whisper. "GO AWAY." I attempt again. But it's no use. These words, too, are lost as they come to my lips._

_Then I hear it. I see it. Chasing behind me, a fury of black, ugly, inked words spiking my vision. Something rages out:_

**YER NOTHIN YER NOTHING YER NOTHING**

_GO AWAY_

**YER NOTHIN YER NOTHING YER NOTHING**

_STOP CHASING ME_

**YER NOTHIN YER NOTHING YER NOTHING**

_WHO ARE YOU?_

**YER NOTHIN YER NOTHING YER NOTHING**

_WAKE UP TODD_

**YER NOTHIN YER NOTHING YER NOTHING**

_WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP_

**YER NOTHIN YER NOTHING YER NOTHING**

A force pulls me up as I jolt awake. The nightmare has ended…for tonight. I wipe the sweat away from my body, and then I wipe the tears away from my eyes. I know tonight the nightmare will return like it has for as long as I can ever remember.


	16. 16

_Viola_

I want to see Todd again.

The Todd I saw earlier on today was a beautiful Todd. A Todd that would hold my hand so I didn't fall, and joke around in a sleeping town. He was a Todd that made me feel safe and a little special. No one has ever seen him smile, but I somehow was once the reason for the upturn of his mouth, the laugh escaping his lips.

I don't know exactly where he lives but I do know roughly that it is in my area. When he walked me back from the woods I remember he pointed along a row of houses…I could possible knock on a few of them.

With nothing else much better to do, I set off to find Todd.

The wood shakes slightly as a knock on the door. A few seconds pass with silence. I peer through the distorted glass inside the house. Figures in the background are moving slowly around. I knock again much louder. There are potted plants scattered all over the small driveway in an attempt to liven the very grey home. The bricked ground is grey. The house is grey. The paint is grey. Everything is grey.

The door cautiously opens revealing behind it a strong, middle aged man. Even his eyes were grey. His eyes pierced into which struck me as dangerous.

"Oh, sorry. This must be the wrong house." I say immediately, avoiding his gaze.

"Who are you looking for?" the man grins. Despite his grin, there is something odd about it. My palms began to sweat. I rubbed them together nervously.

"Erm…" I begin. "Do you know a Todd Hewitt who lives around in this area?"

His grey eyes widen. He freezes. His grin is wiped off his face and his mouth drops low, so low it may even fall out. I subconsciously take a step backwards. His piercing eyes strike mine, as if trying to tell me something I cannot quite understand. I do not know what to do or say.

"Please." he says rushing forward towards me. He violently grabs my arm. His strong fingers lock around tight. "Stay away from the boy. Stay away from him. He is nothing but trouble. I've seen the things he can do."

"W-w-what things?" I stammer, fixed on his bulging eyes.

"He sees into me, he sees right into me." He stabs his finger into his own chest after every single word. "There are these words, these flying words." He throws his spare hand into the air gesturing Todd's Noise. "This is abnormal. He is abnormal. He is the work of the devil. STAY AWAY FROM HIM, I BEG OF YOU."

Bile rises up in my throat. My body shakes after hearing the man's voice.

_Stay away from him,_

_He sees right into me,_

_He is the work of the devil._

"He is not the work of the devil." I whisper quietly, trying to shake off the man's grip.

"Ahh, so he has already begun to temp you!" he screams.

He lets go as I shake him off and run down the short path.

He is still shouting behind as I speed around the corner.


End file.
